Tag: #relationships
Writing on GPUs, LLMs, MLOps, Kubernetes — and mindset · 30 posts
Not Building a Network When You Need One — How Reciprocal Relationships Actually Form
Opening your contacts after losing a job is usually the wrong order. Not because people are cold, but because the structure of a request gets heavy when the first message in years is a favor. This post explains why relat
2026-08-15 · 5 min read #career#networking#community#relationships#job-searchIs Comfort From a Machine Real? — Why We Need to Change the Question
People really do feel better after talking to an AI. Dismissing that as an illusion isn't just rude — it's inaccurate. This piece looks at why responsiveness feels like being cared for, and digs into what chatbot-based m
2026-08-02 · 14 min read #humanities#ai#psychology#loneliness#relationshipsLoneliness Works Like Hunger — How to Read a Signal of Deficit
Loneliness is not the state of being alone. It is the gap between the relationships you want and the ones you actually have. John Cacioppo read that sensation as a deficit signal from the same family as hunger and thirst
2026-07-26 · 12 min read #mindset#healing#loneliness#relationships#connectionYou Do Not Have to Be Good to Everyone — The Art of Boundaries
This is for the person whose calendar has been filled with requests from others because saying no feels impossible, the person carrying the fatigue traded for a reputation as a good person to everyone. It talks about how
2026-07-20 · 6 min read #mindset#healing#boundaries#relationships#communicationWhy Jobs Come from Acquaintances of Acquaintances, Not Best Friends — The Strength of Weak Ties
The Strength of Weak Ties, the 1973 paper by Granovetter that ranks among the most cited in sociology, flips intuition on its head: the decisive information for job seekers came not from close friends but from acquaintan
2026-07-20 · 6 min read #humanities#sociology#network#career#relationshipsBeing Good at Conversation — Not a Way with Words but the Design of Listening
Good conversationalists are not people who talk well but people who get the other person talking. Built on evidence like the Harvard conversation study showing that follow-up questions raise likability, and the finding t
2026-07-20 · 6 min read #career#communication#conversation#relationships#soft-skillsHealthy Boundaries — Staying True to Yourself While Growing Closer
A look at why healthy boundaries are not a wall that pushes people away but a door that lets you grow closer. We cover the kinds of boundaries, why they are hard to set, example phrases for expressing them without confli
2026-07-01 · 23 min read #relationships#boundaries#communication#self-care#psychologyThe Art of Good Conversation — Making a First Meeting Feel Easy
A look at the psychology behind good conversation on a first meeting. We cover listening and curiosity, the reciprocity of self-disclosure, open questions, finding common ground, conversational anti-patterns, and respect
2026-07-01 · 22 min read #relationships#communication#dating#listening#psychologyWhat It Means to Prepare for Marriage — Reality and Conversation Beyond the Fantasy
Preparing for marriage is not only about the ceremony and the budget; it is a long conversation in which two people agree on how they want to live together. This article maps out how to talk through core topics such as v
2026-06-27 · 17 min read #culture#relationships#marriage#communication#life-planningAttachment and Conflict Resolution: Keeping Fights from Ruining a Relationship
A look at how attachment styles shape relationships and why conflict is inevitable. We cover the skills of healthy fighting, such as I-messages, time-outs, and repair attempts, how to break the pursue-withdraw cycle, and
2026-06-27 · 9 min read #relationships#attachment#conflict#communication#psychologyThe Science of a Lasting Marriage — What Actually Keeps a Relationship Together
Following what decades of long-term relationship research, including John Gottman’s work, appears to suggest, this piece looks at what sustains a lasting marriage. It covers the four warning signs and their antidotes, th
2026-06-27 · 19 min read #culture#relationships#marriage#psychology#communicationAdult Friendship — Why Connection Gets Harder as We Age
Why does making and keeping friends feel so much harder once we become adults? This piece looks at what research on social connection suggests, the conditions that build depth in relationships, and balanced, practical wa
2026-06-27 · 24 min read #culture#friendship#social-connection#loneliness#relationshipsAre Men and Women Really Different? The Science and Myths of Sex Differences
A calm look at common beliefs about differences between men and women, weighed against the research. We examine average differences versus large individual variation, the interplay of socialization and biology, and the h
2026-06-27 · 13 min read #psychology#relationships#gender#communication#scienceWhat Makes a Good Partner: The Qualities That Build a Lasting Relationship
A survey of the universal qualities that build lasting relationships. We look at honesty and respect, emotional maturity, communication, and trust as human virtues that have nothing to do with sex, along with insights fr
2026-06-27 · 9 min read #relationships#psychology#self-growth#communication#trustWhat Distributed Systems Taught Me About Relationships
Retries with backoff, timeouts, heartbeats, consistency models, backpressure, graceful degradation, idempotency, the Two Generals Problem, and trust as a cache with a TTL. The same problems that make distributed systems
2026-06-25 · 13 min read #engineering#relationships#fun#distributed-systemsThe Triangular Theory of Love — The Geometry of Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment
Following psychologist Robert Sternberg triangular theory of love, this essay explores how three corners — intimacy, passion, and commitment — combine into seven kinds of love, and how the shape of love shifts as time pa
2026-06-21 · 11 min read #psychology#relationships#love#sternberg#scienceThe Humanities of Unrequited Love: Why Does the Heart Flow Only One Way
Why is unrequited love so deep and sweet and aching all at once. We gently explore the psychology of falling for someone, the gap between fantasy and reality, how to receive rejection with grace, and the path to never lo
2026-06-21 · 46 min read #psychology#love#self-respect#humanities#relationshipsThe Science of Attraction From First Impressions to the Shaky Bridge
What actually happens in the brain and the heart the moment we feel drawn to someone. We explore first impressions, proximity, similarity, reciprocity, the halo effect, the mere-exposure effect, and the famous suspension
2026-06-21 · 37 min read #psychology#attraction#first-impression#neuroscience#relationshipsLove in the Dating App Era — The Paradox of Too Much Choice
How did dating apps change the way we meet love. We calmly examine the paradox of choice, profiles and first impressions, the limits of algorithms, and what healthy, respectful use might look like.
2026-06-21 · 29 min read #relationships#dating#technology#psychology#paradox-of-choiceThe Science of Lasting Friendship — How Friends Are Made
How do friendships begin, and why do some last a lifetime while others quietly fade? Drawing on research into proximity, repetition, self-disclosure, Dunbar's number, and the link between friendship and health, this essa
2026-06-21 · 11 min read #friendship#psychology#relationships#wellbeing#social-science